Each and every one of us want to be considered valuable to others. This is not a bad thing but rather human nature and a prominent fixture in our society. The problem, however, is that many of us have been going about things all wrong.
If any of you have Facebook, and I am betting most of you do, then you have probably stumbled across a message saying something along the lines of “comment on this” or “share this” if you consider yourself a friend. There is another, more disturbing, part of those messages at the beginning of most of them though. They are more often than not accompanied with a statement like “I doubt I will get any back” or something of the like.
The first problem is the negative intro accompanying the message. If you think of yourself, you would agree that you do not like being around people who confront life in a negative manner, therefore, why would people want to be around you if that is what you are engaging in?
The second problem is similar to the first and that is about being guilted into being kind and friendly. Chances are you do not like when people try to use guilt to make you do something, therefore, why would other people respond to something you yourself would not respond to?
The Biggest Problem
As significant as the first couple issues are they still do not address the real problem. The biggest problem is that if you are one of the people posting those messages then you are looking for others to find something you cannot. Value is something you must find in yourself before others will be able to find it. Personal value stems from self-esteem. There is a quite extensive list of books which can help you understand the self-esteem and personal value so I will not dive into the “how-to” of building or locating it.
Instead of chastising you relentlessly, I will encourage you to venture out on a voyage of self-discovery. You are a unique individual and more valuable than you realize. You are truly one of a kind. There are no two people in this world who are the same, including identical twins. If you continuously look for other people to make you feel valuable you will forever be disappointed. Nobody will ever know exactly what you desire or what you need in order to feel valuable like you will. If you learn to value yourself then others will learn to value you as well.