Better to have loved and lost?


I am sure most, if not all, of you have heard the phrase “it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.” And if you have not heard that exact phrase then you have probably heard some derivation of it. This is a phrase I have often wondered about. To me it has always begged the question of truth. Is it truly better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

Before I get started I would like to give kudos to those who have loved and never lost. I am not a member of that elite considering I have been divorced. But I do have some good friends who have been married for several years to the love of their life and show no signs of deviating. For those couples I am truly happy. I am continuously inspired by their love.

For the rest of us though I believe I have come to an answer regarding the concept of the benefits of lost love. My thought is YES. I truly believe it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. The receiving of love and affection from another individual has truly magical qualities. Devoted love has the ability of making a person feel invincible. It can encourage a person to do things they always feared. They can see life through different eyes and always feel warmth in their heart. The benefits of devoted love are practically unmeasurable.

Growth – The Name of the Game

In many ways, I also believe that to notice and truly appreciate all the benefits you must lose them. That idea, of course, is illustrated with a different phrase; “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” I argue that without the negative of losing love a person has nothing to make a comparison to.  Also I can make the argument that to lose love is to learn a lesson of what an individual did wrong.

Understanding that something wrong was done is important. This offers an opportunity for growth in the individual and a self-conscious person would take advantage of it. It provides a chance to make positive changes in your life to improve your actions as a person and lover. This would ensure that if given the opportunity to love and receive love again then the same mistakes would not happen again.

No Love?


The flip side of this coin lies in the logic of never having loved at all. I am confident that this is practically an impossibility in our society. Even if a person loved another and it was not returned it would still qualify as love lost. And frankly, the thought of never having been in love is an idea which is saddening to me. I believe the feeling of love is one which is difficult to explain at best but something everyone deserves to experience in life.

Final Thoughts

brain-blueFor my final thoughts I would first like to encourage everyone to be happy. If you are currently married, try your very best to keep it. If you have never loved yet, rest assured it is the best feeling in the world and it will find you. And if you have loved and lost, be patient. When it comes for you again, and it will, you will probably appreciate it more than anyone else alive. And that appreciation will make it better than you can ever imagine.


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